I Would Kill You And Eat Your Meat

Picture Daphne Buter 

One day during a Christmas dinner, while my stepfather was chewing on rabbit meat in cranberry sauce, he said to my mother: “I was thinking. If you and I were without food and afloat at sea after a ship accident, I would kill you and eat your meat.”

My mother looked at him in confusion and started to sob.

“Do you really mean that? Would you kill me and eat me?” she asked upset.

My stepfather just kept chewing the rabbit meat in cranberry sauce and answered somewhat annoyed, “don’t react so emotionally. Of course I would murder and eat you because that’s how nature works. It’s called the survival of the fittest. It is nothing to get emotional about because we aren’t afloat at sea, are we? We are in Amsterdam celebrating Christmas and I’m eating rabbit meat, not yours. So why in the world do you react so emotionally? For God's sake woman, don't spoil our Christmas dinner...”